6 Things 12 Year Olds do Way Better Than Us!

I have an admission. I wasn’t looking forward to my 12 year old son’s school concert. As excited as he was, I was imagining a 60 minute ear-assault followed by polite clapping and a headache.

But as each group, pair and soloist took to the stage, I was struck by the fact that these pre-teens had more spirit, courage and resilience than the vast majority of their 40-something year old audience.

This is not a stage school. The students volunteered to perform solos or in small groups rather than being selected. Some of them looked shy and uncomfortable under the spot lights. Some made mistakes by forgetting words or missing a note. But they performed, they bowed, they sat down, they beamed.

How many times have you held yourself back? What have you opted out of or avoided because you were afraid of what might happen or of what people might say? What is your equivalent of singing on stage in front of 250 people?

So what is it that makes a 12 year old try what a 42 year old wouldn’t?

Characteristics of a 12 year old (and what we could learn from them)

• They think “yeah, why not? I can do that!” (self-belief)
• They are willing to give it a go even if they haven’t done it before (balanced approach to risk)
• They imagine that it will be amazing (positive mindset)
• They have fun (motivation and their purpose!)
• They do it with friends (positive environment)
• They keep it simple (clarity about what’s important)

What would be possible if you adopted some of these characteristics? The next time an opportunity comes up which you’d previously have shied away from, try thinking like a 12 year old and see what happens.

If you want to find out more about increasing your clarity, motivation and self-belief, drop me an email steph@stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Stephanie Smith is a coach specialising in the world of work. She works with individuals and teams on personal impact, choice and change. Find out more at: www.stephaniesmithcoaching.co.uk

Would you want to work with you?

I love the spring. I like the skies getting lighter and the sight of the first crocus or daffodil. To me, spring represents hope and optimism.

By contrast, I find winter a bit of a struggle. Days spent with the lights on, cold wind chilling your bones and TV schedules that numb the mind. Thinking about it makes me feel sluggish.

But winter also brings crisp, bright days. Thinking about a bracing walk, followed by a great lunch feels energising and creative.

So what?

The way we think has a huge impact on how we feel and, in turn, those feelings affect how we behave. When you think about work, which words come up? If your thoughts include themes of dissatisfaction, disappointment or boredom, it probably feels quite unpleasant. Those feelings will affect how you come across at work and will impact those around you.

Would you want to work with you?

Do you identify with any of the following?

• When changes are proposed, your first thought is “Here we go again!”
• Your network (people at work with whom you regularly keep in touch) is getting smaller rather than bigger
• You find yourself talking more often about why things can’t happen rather than what can happen.

What impact does this have on you and the people you work with?

So what? (Again)

When you are highly experienced, particularly in an area of technical competence (for example finance, IT, engineering, telecoms etc.), it can be tempting to ignore or play-down the impact you have on others because you are "being honest", have "seen it before" or are certain others "don't know what they're talking about".

If this is true for you, consider who you have enjoyed working with. What was it about them that made the work enjoyable? What did you contribute during that time? What were you like as a colleague?

What are you like as a colleague now?

Make a choice

Work can be a bit like the weather. We complain about it but we can’t necessarily change it. We can, however, change how we feel about it. Use these tips to notice how you think, feel and behave at work. Then you can make a choice about what kind of colleague you want to be!

1. Notice your themes
   When you talk at work are your words and comments generally positive or negative? Be honest. “I don’t think it will work” is negative. “I need more information to figure out how we can make it work” is more positive.
2. Write down the good stuff
   Remembering or anticipating what you DO like about work (e.g. utilising your specialist skills, being with people you like/respect) helps move your focus on to more positive aspects. Writing them down strengthens the impact.
3. Be the person you’d most like to work with
   Think about you at your best. Do one thing every day that embodies those characteristics.
4. Plan your next move
   However you feel about your job now, exploring “what next?” gives you options. Having options helps balance out the odd difficult day and is the first step towards taking ownership of your future.

If this sounds familiar and you'd like to discuss how I can help you enjoy your work and take charge of your career, I'd love to hear from you.